Just when you thought you had things all figured out in your long-term relationship, and you were ready to hang in there for the long haul, the universe sends you an instant message that life as you knew it is over, and a new one is about to begin.

Once you pick yourself up off the floor—and this is a must, or you will be veritably swept away with the dog droppings—you are advised to take a complete inventory of your assets and create a comprehensive game plan. If you don’t think you’re up for it, you will learn otherwise—necessity being the mother of invention, and all that sort of thing. You may not see this as a good thing initially—after all, you were probably avoiding that dramatic move for years—the one that would put you out there on your own. But the moment has presented itself, anyway, in spite of your protestations and your long-nurtured commitment to habit.

No longer able to hide behind a comfortable cloak of denial, you are now forced to move forward, even at this late date. And from where I sit on my perch of experience, I know you will eventually be thrilled to pieces that the inevitable finally happened, giving you another chance to live life as you always wanted, but for which you were too scared out of your wits to ask. I’m talking about a life with love at its very foundation. Others have found it. Why not you?  

What it all boils down to is this: life has three—no, four—major essentials—health, money, and love—and, yes, the time to enjoy them. Assuming you have all of it but love, you have no excuse but to turn on your self-promotion machine, and start putting out the word that you are available—to the right individual, of course. Call or email your friends and family. Find reasons to get out in the world, even if it’s just as far as the market. Put on your best smile, and let nature take its course. Or jump-start the process yourself by turning on your computer, connecting to the Internet, and logging on to a dating site specifically geared to Third Agers like you. Somebody wonderful might be expecting you there, and you don’t want to keep that soon-to-be special someone waiting a moment longer than necessary. Don’t rationalize you are out of your league. Not every single man or woman is 20 or 30 or 40. You’ll find many others, like you, who have far too long put off that second chance at finding love, and are now willing to give it a try.

I do not discount the likelihood that your self-confidence is at an all-time low, along with your mood, but time is flying and so is your youth. And there’s nothing to make you feel wanted and needed more than a member of the opposite sex reminding you of how desirable you are. When was the last time you heard that, after all?  

Meeting your match

Before you take that important step toward your new romantic future, read the following checklist to be sure you’re prepared to meet your new love and make the right impression. In order to be convincingly irresistible, you’ll want to know the things to say as well as the things to avoid.

1. Like yourself. The old saying is true: You can’t love someone else if you don’t love yourself. If you have to forgive yourself in order to move on, what are you waiting for? If you don’t feel deserving, start feeling it. If you are out to sabotage yourself in the process of starting your life over, do not let yourself fall into that vicious trap. You deserve better.
2. Look at yourself in the mirror and analyze your physical assets as well as your weaknesses. Fix what you can, and hide the rest behind a smile. Someone out there will see you as sensational.
3. Listen, and absorb what you hear.
4. Be kind and generous with praise and affection.
5. Show interest and respect for what your partner has to say.
6. Laugh from the depths of your being—but never fake it.
7. Look to the future; do not dwell on the past. Yesterday is gone and your new life is all about today and tomorrow.
8. Keep growing intellectually.
9. Be of service to others as well as yourself.
10. Appreciate life and all it has to offer.

Love is waiting for you, as if for the first time. Isn’t that a delicious notion to contemplate?