If you are like me, you don’t need Dr. Laura or Dr. Ruth or Dr. Phil to tell you how to treat the object of your affection. Now that you are older, you are also wiser—or at least like to think you are—and you know that there is nothing that puts a relationship into the deep freeze faster than self-indulgent behavior. Consider this for a moment. This relationship—in fact, life in general—is not really all about you. If you feel you are having trouble getting the love you want, how about being the one to initiate the love exchange? It’s a simple equation—love begets love—and it works in all manners of ways and in all sorts of circumstances. Just remember that one concept whenever you feel you are not getting what you “deserve” out of a relationship and it may occur to you that you have been concentrating more on what you are getting out of it and not enough about what you are giving? It may also occur to you that if you want someone to listen to you, you have to listen to them. How many ways would you like it to be repeated to you? Love begets love.

When you and I were very small (unless you are much younger than I) there was a hit song called “Nature Boy,” and the composer said he wrote the entire composition in just 45 minutes. It had a simple melody with a simple lyric and a hugely important philosophy. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” Once you integrate that concept into your every action and reaction, and you will begin to notice that the love of your life is treating you in ways that are new and wonderful and entirely about love. And you can thank yourself for the amazing transformation. Not his or her transformation, but yours.